this is a little tribute to my "shobe" Rinoa (Monika Ortega)...

i met her through the forum i love most... she's one of the well-loved members in the forum and i never even imagined that i'd be able to have her as a part of my life in a very deep way...

just like what she said in her little eulogy, it all started when i helped her out in her problem... all that was in my mind that time was "there's this kid who needs help... maybe i can do something about it"... so i worked my words with her, gave her a little advice... after that, she sked if she can call me kuya... of course, who am i to refuse?

whenever i log in to the forum, i always read the stuff she posts... that's my way of checking on her... and whenever i read something about her not being okay, i reply to her post or send her a private message immediately...

she's one of the few people who help me out in my love problems... even if she's younger than i am, she's very effective in giving me an advice... she lets me rant and cry to her... she even once said that she likes it when i talk to her, whenever i come to her for comfort...

i just love it when she PMs me and tells me something about her life that she can't share with the other people in the forum... that's the intimate connection that we have between us... she's like a child sharing dreams and fantasies to someone older than her (which is me)...

i know how disappointed she gets whenever i promise her that i will show up then change my mind and choose to hide anyway... but after that supposed to be meeting, i send her a message, as a sign or proof that i really was there (this is usually after a cosplay event)... and i know she's happy with that, although its nothing compared to how happy she could have been if i really showed my face...

which reminds me of the time i posted my pic on the forum... she was like, " OMG! NAGPAKITA KA!!"... she could hardly believe it though... and i had to convince her like crazy...

we've made litle promises to each other in the very short time that we've met... i vowed to be one of her Guardians (its what i call her hordes of "big brothers", which includes me) especially when she cosplays Dark Chii, that we'll eat a mooncake together one of these days, that i'll protect her from the guys (suitor, fanboys or whatever you call them) who bother her life, and that i'll always be her kuya who is ready to help her out no matter what...

my relationship with Rinoa is truly like a brother to a sister... i've seen her strengths and weaknesses by simply talking to her in the forum... she is really special to me, so important that i cannot keep myself away from her... i know i have put an end to my cyberlife but that does not mean that i have also put an end to being Rinoa's brother... every now and then, i still drop by the forum just to check on her...

how my heart grieved during the past week, when the news of my "death" seemed so unbearable to her... how i wanted to "rise from the dead" just to comfort her, tell her i'm alive and that i'm still here to protect her...

but now, i put that task of protecting her to my own girlfriend... sure, i have my guy friends in the forum but i cannot entrust my beloved shobe to them... i can act through her...

i cannot bear to have anyone else call me "kuya reaver"... if it won't be my shobe, don't call me that at all... it won't sound the same if it won't be her...

i will always keep a watchful eye over my shobe...


Your anime hair color is blue.


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