WARNING/NOTE:
1. explicit content
2. i don't remember the exact order of the events so this will be definitely be all jumbled
3. XXX!!!!!
4. coño overload!!
how it all started?
venue: tinoco pavillion
*heart accidentally almost kicks kuya anton's dick*
kuya anton: if those killer boots of yours hurt my balls of existence, i will insert it inside your tunnel of fertility!!
heart: ano daw?
les: di mo gets? *lets out a manic laughter*
me: sorry kuya, she's just really a baby... she has just turned 18 last week...
kuya anton: so? just because you're not 18 doesn't mean you have to be ignorant about things like this...
heart: ano daw?
me: that's how it is with her...
kuya anton: you should meet my cousin! she has all these cool devices! and she's already married! she uses it when her husband is not around... she even has those tentacles!!
les: incest!!!!!
kuya anton: you know, you should at least have an idea about sex...
les: maybe she should drop by your apartment and show her your lethal downloads!
kuya anton: *looks at les* then you should come along...
les: but you're harmless naman, di ba kuya?
kuya anton: i am, but a girl and a guy? in one room? watching that? that doesn't sound nor look good... *looks at me* and you should come too... you can't go home without your cousin anyway...
venue: pao tsin, dapitan branch
kuya anton: oh guys, art's going to come with us...
les: ayan! buo na ang sentai force!
kuya anton: ano ka dun? guy or girl?
les: none of the above!
*kuya art walks into the restaurant and sits beside kuya anton*
kuya art: why are you guys going to anton's apartment?
me: we're goin to do a little initiation *evil grin*
kuya art: what do you mean? anong initiation?
kuya anton: we will ruin heart's innocense and rip off...
kuya art: her clothes??
kuya anton: hell no! we will rip off her morals!!
venue: kuya anton's apartment, laong laan
*heart and les sits on the bed, kuya art stands by the balcony door, kuya anton sits infront of the pc and i sit on the bean bag on the floor*
kuya art: before we go to the initiation, paiyakin muna natin si heart... *he opens his bag and takes out his l'arc-en-ciel realive club cicuit 2000 vcd and pops it into the drive D of kuya anton's pc... he fast forwards it to the band's performance of "neo universe"*
*we all look at heart*
kuya anton: iiyak ka talaga kapag nakarinig or nakapanood ka ng l'arc?
les: humahagulgol nga yan nung UP AME sa lahat ng l'arc songs na tinugtog eh!
kuya anton: *stands u, grabs his towel and hands it to heart* yan!
les: kuya, we need more than that! maybe you should get a bucket instead!
*hyde starts singing the chorus of the song and kuya art sings along, dancing and doing the air guitar thing*
*after the performance, kuya anton lets kuya art sit infront of the pc, he sits beside heart on the bed... kuya art plays the "stay away" performance but doesn't finish it*
les: kuya, yung sa "honey" na!
me: yeah, i'm curious about how hyde sings that considering that he's already paos when he sang neo universe...
*kuya art does what we want... he switches it to the performance of "honey"... i stand up and sings along with hyde*
kuya art: oh my God! you sound exactly like him!!
les: you should hear him imitate gackt's voice!
kuya art: i don't care about gackt! he's a whore!
kuya anton: so you have a crush on josh now?
kuya art: YES!!!!!
me: er... kuya... that would make us yaoi...
kuya art: exactly! and i like yaoi!! i love you!!!
me: i'm not goin to sing any laruku song again infront of you... *sits down on the bean bag*
now to the initiation part!
*kuya anton does his thing... he clicks on his downloaded stuff... he let us watch anime hentai first*
kuya anton: anime love making is so fake! real people can't have orgasm that fast!
kuya art: is that the experience talking?
kuya anton: no... this is the biology student talking!
heart: inaaral niyo yan?
kuya anton: yes! its part of anatomy and physiology and then there's histology... *turns to me and les* you guys should get ready because when you take up histology, you'll be required bring the product of your masturbation...
*les and i stare at kuya anton, both very shock*
heart: ano yung product of masturbation?
kuya art: its what you release when you reach the point of orgasm...
heart: eh ano yung orgasm?
kuya anton: *points to the monitor* see that fluid? that's the product of orgasm! and orgasm's the plateau of love maing!
me: just explain it to her as plainly as you can...
kuya anton: its when you feel this certain spasm in your body... you know, its really unfair because girls have an unlimited orgasm period while guys only have 12!
kuya art: that's why you have to do it while you're young so you can keep up with the girl!
me: just don't do it so young...
kuya anton: i'll only make love to my wife!
me: then why do you have so many hentai stuf?
kuya anton: of course! i must know how to please my wife!
heart: ganun ba yun?
kuya art: for a guy, yes!
*kuya anton switches it to the real thing... he pleased our eyes with a lot of henat, yaoi and yuri... even the la salle scandal!*
heart: ano yun? *points to the guy's huge dick*
kuya anton: that's the sword of the guy!
heart: sword? bakit nakakabit sa body niya?
les: that's the guy's... *points to what's between my legs since i was standing by this time*
me: don't! you might touch it!
kuya art: i'd be happy to touch it! and grab it!
me: heh...
*they all laugh... i sit on the floor*
heart: yun yon? then why is it so big?
kuya anton: its in the genes... things like that are actually genetic...
heart: kahit na! ang laki eh...
kuya anton: because black americans have the biggest dicks!
les: *looks at me* paano yung white americans?
kuya anton: they also have huge cocks!
heart: ang laki talaga...
kuya art: do you have something smaller?
*kuya anton shows us this video of a japanese couple, doing a blowjob*
heart: ang liit! parang sausage!!
kuya anton: that's how small a japanese guy's dick is! *grabs a ruler, measures the guy's dick* see??? it's only 4 inches long! it's so close to the skin!
kuya art: ang liit ng sa mga hapon... kaya pala ang laki ng mga dick ng anime guys...
les: *hugs heart* iiyak na yata 'to...
me: *sits beside heart and lets her hide behind me* what were you saying, kuya art?
kuya art: imagine, ganyan lang kalaki ang kay hyde!!!
kuya anton: japanese guys have one of the smallest dicks in the world!
les: how in the world do they fuck?
kuya anton: ganyan! *points to the monitor*
so that's basically what we did all night... just telling heart about the real thing, discussing it with her scientifically... after the initiation, he played us his DEG PVs and his love song collection for kuya art, who was then going ballistic over his love frustrations... we also discussed our plans for the animexplosion (you guys ain't getting me to wear that!!) and the org projects... we stayed at kuya anton's apartment until 12:30 am...
the gist? we didn't do anything!!!!