i woke up this morning at 9:30 because of my cellular phone... someone sent me an SMS... with my eyes still half-closed, i grabbed my phone and checked out who disturbed my sleep...
lo, it was my girlfriend...
well, she said something about her sister asking her to go home tonight but she's thinking about it because she has an exam tomorrow at 7:30... knowing her, she won't be able to get to school that early coming from Olongapo... i mean, my girlfriend is one certified habitual latecomer... anyway, i told her to just go home this weekend... know what she said? she told me that has to come this saturday to her usual saturday night out with her friends in the cosplaying community because it has something to do with the upcoming Ongaku Rave...
my reaction? i don't believe that crap reason...
why can't she just tell me that she can't miss any opportunity to see or be with her beloved Aki?! or should i say, her beloved Gackt?! damn it! why can't she just tell it to my face that she loves him?! i can see right through her! i'm not numb! i can fel it when she talks to me... she makes me feel like
i'm Aki... with the way she talks to me...
oh for Christ's sake! i'm not as devilish as him! i still have my faith! and i will not renounce it just to please her and be like her beloved Aki!
if you have noticed, i kept saying "her beloved Aki" because apparently, that's who he is to her...
and she wants me to trust her?!
she's the reason why i almost shot myself dead! i cannot take her lies and deception! i always say i believe everything she says but when it comes to her true feelings for Aki, i don't even have to think about it...
i know it was my mistake that she fell for him... it was my fault...i pushed her to it... if i may quote something from her journal... i made her believe my lies...
it seems i can never fully trust her, no matter how hard i try... her proofs mean nothing to me... her eyes say it all...
"i love Aki, not you"...
that's always what i get whenever i look at her...
curse me...
how i loathe that guy...
