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Thursday, May 26, 2005
here's a letter that i never got to send... i wrote this one three years ago... my love,
i'm really sorry i refused to talk to you last night... you see, i have my reasons for doing so... saying that, i now warn you that this letter will not contain my usual mushy words... no, my love... this is all about why i acted the way i did last night...
i simply find it irritating that you continue to talk and go out with him after telling me how much you dislike him... you even have the nerve to tell me how wonderful he is! now that doesn't sound really bad of him, right? you make it sound as if he is being the man i can never be!
i understand that you are simply being nice... after all, he is your cousin's friend... but isn't it that he has told you a dozen times that he loves you? my love, i do not blame him for falling in love with you but why do you have to entertain him?
am i missing something here?
okay, you reassured me countless of times that i will always have your heart no matter who comes along... but how can i convince myself? i can clearly see who he is now in your life! you turn to him instead of me, you go out with him as often as i can recall and you spend late nights talking to him!
then last night, just after telling me how irritating he is, you had the guts to tell me that you're having a wonderful conversation with him on the phone!
thank you for showing me how much i lack...
i know i have no right to feel this way since you are not my girlfriend... but you said so yourself that what we have is real... i told you i'd wait for the time when you'd be ready to finally commit...
but does that mean you would spend the rest of the time hurting me this way?
pardon me for saying such things...
xxxxa few weeks later, they eventually became a couple... that was the day i ruined my life and threw myself in hell... i hope i won't have to send this to anyone... ever...
posted at
6:33 AM
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