well well... what do you know? it's already bittersweet november... that also happens to be the concert title of my friend's band at the music museum on november 5... that's this saturday already, right? if i check my calendar, probably yeah...

heck i'm sick... literally... must've been made worse by that damned rain yesterday... and its the first time i ever cussed over rain... i never really cared if i'm sick before... its just that... well... wrong timing, dude... totally...

by the way, pardon me for talking this way... its the effect of skateboarding all morning... and for the record, i didn't break any of my bones this time...

my mind's been reeling lately... over the current status of my life... overall, that is... generally, its going great but i ain't gonna say its perfect... just, y'know, better than before... not that i'm complaining...

i'm letting more and more peope into my secret... yeah, the biggest secret of my entire life... i trust those people though... i won't tell them if i don't... its just that i'm basically getting tired of playing this role and i'm beginning to, y'know, not want it anymore... i just want to call it quits... i mean, what's the point? i no longer have to go through it everyday... except for a few occasions, its already useless... it doesn't serve its purpose anymore...

come to think of it, there's no more purpose for it... no more reason...

this is me thinking out loud, not making any sense... but maybe i actually do... ain't it really funny if i just tell everybody the truth? but that would mean the end of me... i'd go extinct, if you catch my drift...

but who cares? nobody does anymore... this isn't the old days... come to think of it, a couple of people will do care... and they'll give themselves a little pat on the back for it...

forget it, i'm keeping it down low... hush, y'know...

it was around this time last year when i began to "resurrect"... i started resurfacing, told my closest "friends" i'm actually alright, that nothing happened... they almost beat the crap out of me but hey, they're glad my act was just an act...

but that was also when i started to lose everything...

i gained something in the end though... this little realization that taught me a lot... guess i can say it became my wonderwall...

but what the hell? i'm happy with the way things are going in my life right now... and that's one fact i can proudly say...