jean paul sartre, you captured the very essence of my thoughts...

existentialism...

read his work/play "no exit" and you have the answers to the many questions that have been bothering me since the day i asked myself, "why was i even born?"

hell, one room, three people... each one denying or refusing to accept their fates... with nothing inside but pieces of furniture, they torture each other... but no, not through the use of torture devices... there were no whip, chains or any of the usual wound and pain inflicting stuff that we all know... well, there is a knife, only that it is made of paper...

why? simply because "hell is other people"... they torture you mentally, emotionally...

also, there is no mirror in the room... nothing that can tell you how you look like... but i presume you would not want to see how you look like dead, right?

my hell... that is right here, in this house... in school... anywhere i go... that is hell... those judgmental people who condemn me every chance they get... they pour out all of their hatred on me for a reason i simply cannot accept...

how can you judge someone you don't even know? you have etched my name on the doors of hell, cast my soul in its fiery flame... but you have no idea who i really am...

how can i thank you?

the mirror... i do not need a mirror to know that i exist... in fact, i hardly look at it... i don't find the need to... because i know that what i see in the mirror will always be different from what they see...

i know who and what i am... your opinions are welcome but don't expect me to believe them...

i told myself time and again that the population of the world does not matter... most of them merely exist... they do not live at all... living and existing are two different things... you exist simply because people know you are present in this world...

but you will only live once you have learned to love... truly... unconditionally...

again, i once declared, this life we live is purgatory... people are given another chance to do their unfinished business of asking for forgiveness and forgiving, of loving and teaching how to love, of guiding people to heaven and being their heaven...

at the same time, this life is hell... as i have already said, "hell is other people"... people will continue to make you fail in accomplishing your unfinished business therefore making you undergo the concept of reincarnation... also called the "test of faith", it will eventually lead one into the promised heaven...

you will live, die and get reborn until you accomplish your mission... that is the true concept of the ying and the yang... you will remain in the circle until you have removed the spots and completed the balance of nature, good and evil, heaven and hell...

without this, you will remain in purgatory and hell... no exit for you...